GRUMPY CAT GOES TO THE IVEY'S HOTEL
I arrived at the one of a kind boutique Ivey's Hotel for a luxurious 3 night stay. Yay.
I was greeted by a staff that was professional, friendly and eager to accommodate.
All of these traits, I happen to hate.
Guests typically gather in the lobby to admire the elegant design and decor,
which I quickly put a stop to by inconveniently napping in the middle of the floor.
Though I might look lost, I knew exactly how to find my room.
I was just shedding some fur for the hotel staff to broom.
The front desk sent me a lovely bouquet of flowers to smell.
I wasn’t impressed. I think they could tell.
I was sent freshly baked cookies, and milk for my thirst.
It’s true that I ate them. Still, they were the worst.
Next I took a tour of Sofia’s Lounge, a space where royal opulence meets a vintage touch of Parisian flair.
Then I retreated to the exclusive Library Lounge to relax and read from the private collection of books.
But instead I just gave the other guests discouraging looks.
I frowned by a map. I grew despondent on a chair.
I made a painting crack with an off-putting stare.
The gentleman who delivered my room service said he recognized me from memes.
I advised him to give up on his dreams.
My stay included a gigantic bubble bath.
Don’t tell a soul, or you’ll feel my wrath.
The fine Italian bedding was soft, cozy and not the slightest bit lumpy.
Even still, The Ivey’s Hotel is a pretty great place to be grumpy.